Friday, March 16, 2012

So, DON'T believe me about "John Carter" . . .

. . . but maybe you should believe all these people.  Read on, mi Martian amigos . . . and there are a ton more opinions here.


John Carter is a movie that's destined to be a flop.  With a hefty $250 million dollar production budget and a lot of negative pre-release buzz, Disney stands to lose some big bucks.  With all this negative attention surrounding the movie, it should be hard to watch and critique John Carter objectively.  I don't give a damn about any of that though.  Having seen the film, I can't say that it's anything but awesome.
Case in point: this week's "John Carter," a fun, exciting, fast-paced science fiction adventure that looks great and really delivers what it promises. And it's tanking. Why? Because the "I'm a comic book/sci-fi genius who still lives in my parent's basement with no job and lots of spare time on my hands to type 1,000 word treatises on the finer points of obscure Korean horror films" fan base has been whining for the past six months about the lame title compromise imposed by the marketing department at Disney. It was supposed to be "John Carter of Mars," but they were afraid girls wouldn't go see a movie with "Mars" in the title. Now no one is going.
Since day one corporate lackeys of the entertainment industry predicted doom and gloom for the Edgar Rice Burroughs'  John Carter space epic helmed by “Wall-E” guru Andrew Stanton but those who have actually seen the mind-blowing heroic fantasy are saying WTF?!

In what Forbes.com and others are calling a media conspiracy and an outrageous expert stock market manipulation helmed by the Nielsen Corporation (the TV ratings corp.) who own The Hollywood Reporter and Rupert Murdoch’s vast media empire which includes 20th Century Fox which owns both “Star Wars” and “Avatar” a vast tapestry of falsehoods are now merging.

While they claim “John Carter” is a box office disappointment in the United States it has grossed over 100 million overseas and it's the top grossing film in Russia – no less.
My condolences to you, Andrew, and the rest of the audience members like me, who long to see great throwback spectacles like JOHN CARTER. If the early returns are any indication, the negative press and botched marketing campaign may have condemned us to the realm of wishful thinking, should we hope to see something so wondrous and original ever again. Instead, we’ll be cursed to endure more lack-luster creations based on board games, children’s toys, bad teen novels and increasingly obscure comic heroes. Memorable characters will take a back seat to more explosions and wiz-bang effects, and any semblances of narrative will seem like it was spit out of a random story-generating computer.
BC: This is a very well-made and well-acted movie, and one of the first sci-fi/fantasy movies in a quite while to stir a sense of wonder in me. Not unlike, the first time I watched “Star Wars,” “Harry Potter” or “Lord of the Rings.”

JP: The plot is elegant in its simplicity, but it is by no means a weak or bland story. Age-old elements such as greed, bigotry and revenge form the backbone of a tale about a swashbuckling and brave warrior, out of his depth, who finds something to finally believe in. Just the kind of story to make one’s heart flutter, as the hero fights the good fight, finding himself in the process.
 …some of the word from Europe about the movie itself makes me even more curious to see it. In Libération, Olivier Séguret recommends that viewers approach the movie with “innocence,” which is “the key that makes it possible to understand the extraordinary and shambolic spectacle that’s astir on the screen.” He says that the story is insignificant—“so classical that we already know it all by heart”—and prefers to call attention to the blend of live action and C.G.I., which, he says, “attains in this film new summits in amplitude and virtuosity.” He continues, “Stanton gorges himself to a certain excess, but also treats us to graphic fireworks that are striking in their freedom, their fury, their intense creative quest” and concludes that the movie offers “an ingenuity that sometimes borders on the ridiculous, but also a candor, a virginity that renders this thunderous object terribly fragile. And, by that fact, quite endearing.”
The critic Jean-François Rauger, at Le Monde, also praises the film’s “perfection of digital special effects,” which bring about “the feeling of a quasi-infinity of possibilities in graphic invention,” and adds that the “playful exaltation of the adventurous man” reminds him of the flamboyant sword-and-shield action films directed by Riccardo Freda in the fifties and sixties.
It’s fun and trendy to trash science fiction and fantasy films that aren’t Very Serious Movies.

That’s what we’re seeing happen with Disney’s John Carter, a fun, campy action-adventure directed by Pixar’s Andrew Stanton, and written by Stanton, Mark Andrews, and novelist Michael Chabon.

John Carter is everything it’s supposed to be. And because it achieves exactly what it’s sets out to do, it’s no surprise that critics are panning it. For one thing, many reviewers of the film aren’t quite sure what to classify the film. The swashbuckling confuses them.
Despite all the anti-Mars alarmism, John Carter has a decent shot at being one of those rare movies that picks up steam as its run continues. Even all this bad, bottom-line crazed press could be beneficial, stirring up some curiosity. It's a better ad campaign than what Disney devised.
But what it most reminds me of are those great classic matinee adventures like Jason and the Argonauts — big, bright adventures with wild monsters and brave armies, heroes and heroines who run and jump and kiss while we grin like kids at the sheer fun of it all. There was a time when not every movie tried to be some cliched “dark and gritty” version of itself, and when critics and audiences went to movies to laugh and cheer and have grand ol’ fun getting entertained by movies that worked hard to give you your buck’s worth for two hours.

And that’s what John Carter is — an old fashioned matinee adventure. It’s Tarzan and Flash Gordon, it’s The 7th Voyage of Sinbad and Star Wars. It’s a mixture of barbarian-like ancient technology and weird heavy machinery, it’s swords and flying ships, it’s cowboys and space travel.
This is pitch perfect. I like dark and gritty as much as the next guy, but I also love movies that don’t pretend to be anything but themselves. Occasionally, I want to just sink comfortably into the adventure.

John Carter does this masterfully. It’s the sort of movie that we don’t see all that often. There’s some Indiana Jones in there, and some Star Wars, too. It’s fun, and it avoids many of the mistakes and shortcomings of other big blockbusters.
it’s ultimately a love letter to childlike wonder at the impossible made real.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

"John Carter," Jimmy Buffett, and the Decline of Traditional Media

John Carter, Disney's new epic film, is a groundbreaking disaster, if you heed the reviews in a few major newspapers.  Yet it's made, in only three days' time, $100,000,000 worldwide.

Jimmy Buffett, a beloved multi-millionaire due to his own perseverance as a singer and songwriter--and because of his shrewd business acumen--is actually a talentless performer who has never deserved to win a Grammy.

Who says this kind of stuff?

"Authority."  Newspapers, holier-than-thou critics, and rival media executives fighting for a piece of the disposable-income pie.

Who loses in contests like these?

We, the people.

Incredibly, Jimmy Buffett has never won a Grammy.  Look at the list of winners, since, oh, whenever, and you will find a shitload of one-hit wonders who have won, and have since faded into the obscurity from which they never should have slithered.

Really, why should they be recognized--groups and artists such as Boys II Men, Salt-n-Pepa, Tool, Jamiroquai--when Mr. Margaritaville will never, ever receive a Grammy?

Because the power executives want their people to win...and Jimmy has never played the L.A. music, ass-kissing game.  His power comes from the people themselves, not the execs.

L.A. don't like that.

John Carter, the movie poster.
 Just one little bit of proof that Disney got the marketing all wrong on this one.


The first (as far as I can tell) excoriating review for John Carter came from a big newspaper.  Coincidentally or not, the Los Angeles Times.  Go look it up if you want to.  It basically says the movie is a complete flop.  A waste.  Utter failure.

Now, just exactly how do Jimmy Buffett and John Carter meet, you might ask.

They meet in the arena of venomous critical response.  They meet in the hearts of critics who don't give a damn about people, citizens, consumers--whatever you want to call us regular folk--but instead lather praise on the celeb du jour, like Katy Perry or Lana Del Rey; the TV series du jour, such as the Kardashian reality series (after series) or any series on pay cable; and movies, the smaller the better, that the average moviegoer will ignore in hordes, especially if it's French.

One of the reasons the Internet is killing the American newspaper is the prevalence of online niches.  People--today's consumers--don't want to listen to old-fashioned authority.  They want to find their own voices amidst similar voices.


The authority that newspapers once had is dwindling.  That's a good thing.  Because Jimmy Buffett wouldn't be a star if it were up to the L. A. Times.  They published a review of his L. A. concert back in '91 or '92--I was vacationing at Disneyland and read the review in thie restaurant while having breakfast--which was much less a review of the concert itself than it was a poisonous tirade against Buffett himself: his voice, the laid-back style that appeals to the masses (How can that be?), and his predilection for rum-soaked lyrics that--Protect us, oh mighty L. A. Times!--promote drinking.  DRINKING, I say!  To make it worse, the reviewer claimed it was a complete lack of sensitivity on JB's part to perform his hit, "Volcano," just days after a volcano erupted in the Pacific and destroyed an island.

That wasn't a review.  That was a petty little critic mouthing off against what readers--the people--truly like--and what he/she most definitely despised...and, by God, everyone else should hate him, too!

John Carter is receiving only a few bad reviews, but they're from "authority."  Mostly, they're from media sources who WANT the movie to fail, to show Pixar and Disney who's boss.  They don't give a damn if the movie is good or bad.  They want it to fail, they want it to be bad...and so that's what it is.

The problem is that some people are still listening to them.

The good thing is, word of mouth will let John Carter to go on to prove the know-nothings wrong.

Here's a quote from what I'm reading on the Internet, and it's typical of how good John Carter really is:
Boy, did the marketing execs at Disney blow it on this one. From the trailer (and the hype), you’d think that John Carter is a Clash-of-the-Titans-meets-Avatar war movie, stocked to the gills with aliens fighting each other in epic battles. Full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

But what if you were told it’s actually a super-fun (and often funny) tale of a stranger-in-a-strange-land, with just enough romance to make it a (gasp!) really solid date movie? …along with aliens fighting each other in epic battles, of course.

But there it is.
Read the whole thing hereThis one is even better: it really gets to the core of how good the movie truly is.

The important question: Can positive word-of-mouth now help "John Carter" overcome its poisonous advance buzz?

Yes, I think it can.  It has to.  Good movies need to succeed, to show self-important critics that a blockbuster can also be a damn good movie.  Good performers need to succeed, to show pompous execs and star-fuckers that, yes, good guys win.  (And don't for a minute think that Disney execs didn't plant any of the bad press.  They did.  For financial reasons.)

Authority is on the wan.  They can still influence negatively, as in the case of John CarterRead this piece a couple of times -- it's that important.  Don't just take these opinions from me: you need to see exactly how failures in Hollywood are manufactured.

And read of the sheer joy the red planet can bring.

Don't pay attention to the hate.

Defy authority.  Listen to the people, not the critics.

Go for yourself, and experience the joy and wonder of living under the moons of Mars.  It's right next to Margaritaville.

You can't go wrong.

Monday, March 5, 2012

A Minor Correction

In my last post about prescriptions, I mentioned a Virginia program that helps people between jobs or just plain out of work afford their prescriptions.  I got something wrong.  It's not the state at all.  An insurance company (unnamed) is graciously allowing out-of-workers such as myself to buy prescriptions at highly-reduced rates, and until further notice.

Whoever you are, thank you.  You're saving lives.

Danny Boy! Come and take your medicine!


My buddy, Cliff, posted on his blog about Our Daily Meds.  You can read it here.  Coincidentally, I've had to think about prescriptions the last week and a half, as I was just let go from my job selling ads at the Caroline Progress, and the corporate powers that be in the backwoods of Tennessee didn't hesitate an iota of a second to cancel my health coverage on that very same day.

I'm not worried about doctor visits or trips to the emergency room just yet--but the cost of prescriptions has had me worried in the short term.  Just in case you're perfect healthy, or wealthy, prescription meds are fucking expensive if you don't have adequate health coverage.  Here: read this insightful article in the Washington Post all about prescription costs in this great country of ours compared to prices across the world.  Unless you're an idiot or a conservative who puts politics before people, the writer's conclusion is accurate and inescapable: in America, greed drives the prices, and that's why our meds cost so much.

For example: I take a daily pill for acid reflux--what my parents back in the day called "the heartburn."  It's not one of the affordable over-the-counter pills, as they don't work on me.  No, no, my hoidy-toidy digestive system requires high-end mantenance: a daily pill with the brand name of Protonix, which also comes in generic under its proper name of Pantaprazole, which, I know, sounds like an Italian seafood dinner.

Yum.

I have fretted over the cost of prescriptions without coverage, and had resigned myself to doing without.  That would, in a day or so, result in a constant stomach ache that feels as though a human fist is lodged just below my Wornom sternum.

So I called my pharmacy, the very good souls at Target on Staples Mill Rd. here in Richmond, told them of my situation, and inquired how much I would have to shell out for my pills--and that I might have to resort back to my old profession of male prostitute.

Under a health plan: generic Pantaprazole costs $10.

Without insurance, generic costs $88.99.

And I hate to think what the brand name pill costs.

Without hesitation, the clerk on the phone, the lovely Antigone, said, "Hold on, let me see what I can do for you."

Hold on?  I didn't know there was anything that could be done!

She comes back and says, "I've enrolled you in a state program that helps out the unemployed.  It usually brings prescription costs down."  I heard her type on her computer keyboard.  "There.  How's $13.96 sound?"

How does that sound?  Like birds singing in the springtime, that's how it sounds!

So thank you, Antigone; thank you, Target; and thank you, Virginia, for putting people over the drug manufacturers.

Stay well, my friends.